My tablet dings with an incoming third-party Twitter notification.
@FilthyBlueBird has unfollowed you.
I laugh. “Oh, Grace, Grace, Grace. You think you can slip me that easily?”
Grace @FilthyBlueBird – 1s
OMG, I have a stalker! What do I do, #BlueBirds?
You’d think a woman using Twitter this regularly for a few years would understand how it all works. I can still see her tweets when she unfollows me. I have to stop and laugh a little.
MovieStar @VaughnAsher – 30s
@FilthyBlueBird Who is this stalker? I will set him straight.
And then the usual happens. Within minutes, there are dozens of @replies. Mostly from her girlfriends on the Dirty Heaven list, the #BlueBirds. But some random stalkerish fans of my own are in there too.
@VaughnAsher is @FilthyBlueBird your GF?
@VaughnAsher if you’re the stalker, you can stalk me any time!
@VaughnAsher who is @FilthyBlueBird? Can I be your blue bird?
They get worse from there. Invitations to fuck them. Sit on my face. #SOHF is a code word for that on Twitter. @FilthyBlueBird uses that one a lot. And I've got to admit, that’s something I’d like to imagine.
More than imagine, actually. I’d like to lick that sweet little pussy until she’s dripping down my chin.
Fuck. I’m horny. I reach for my phone and press Grace’s number in my contacts. She picks up on the first ring.
“What the hell are you doing?” she growls at me.
“You left so suddenly, Grace. I didn't have a chance to—”
“Get off my Twitter feed, Asher. Now!”
I chuckle. It’s one of those full-of-myself chuckles I do when my power is looming over people.
“Now why ever would I do that, Miss Kinsella?”
“Because, Vaughn, I’m just a girl from Denver who has absolutely no interest in signing your contract. It was a fun fling, but it’s over now. So leave me alone and stop stalking me on Twitter! My friends are all going to see—”
She’s interrupted by a continuous litany of pinging from my tablet and I admit, at this point in the conversation, I've got a hand over my mouth to stop the laughing. She screams on the other end of the line.
I can see why. She just got bombarded with tweets asking about me.
“Oh my God. What do I tell them? What the hell am I going to tell them?” She screams again. “Fuck! Bebe just found out, thanks a lot! I never told her about you, now she’s going to know I was with you on the island.”
“So? Jesus, have you no sympathy for me at all? She’s my best friend and I lied to her! I fucked a goddamned movie star and I didn't tell her! How can you—”
“—be so fucking cold, you jerk!”
“Oh. My. God. Do you hear that? That’s her now! She’s calling on the other line!”
J. A. Huss likes to write new adult books that make you think and keep you guessing. Her favorite genre to read is space opera, but since practically no one reads those books, she writes new adult science fiction, paranormal romance, contemporary romance, urban fantasy, and books about Junco (who refuses to be saddled with a label).
She has an undergraduate degree in horses, (yes, really–Thank you, Colorado State University) and a master’s degree in forensic toxicology from the University of Florida. She used to have a job driving around Colorado doing pretty much nothing but shooting the breeze with farmers, but now she just writes, runs the New Adult Addiction and Clean Teen Reads Book Blogs, and runs an online science classroom for homeschoolers.